Thursday, April 26, 2012
Rules of the Cinematic Universe, Pt. 2
Posted on 9:00 AM by Unknown
Part two of a continuing series of movie rules (part one can be found here).
Brad Pitt eats... a lot.
A visitor from a foreign land will inevitably save the new land.
Young partners in cop films die, horribly.
The Golden Gate bridge must be destroyed!
Revenge is a dish served over and over again.
Orphans always find families.
Johnny Depp must always have the most interesting hat.
Weddings must be freaked out about, until the last fifteen minutes.
If a single women survives a horror film, chances are she was actually the killer as well.
If a child dies in the movie, then the mother stops wearing make-up.
Grown men can't handle children, especially single ones.
Mousy girls are hot when you take off their glasses and pull out their ponytail.
Police captains never have control over their staff.
After a calamity occurs, a child looks out from behind a viewfinder.
In horror films, when the camera cuts from a wide shot to a close shot to a wide shot again, someone is lurking behind the character.
Children always peek at an impending disaster using a scope.
As an important game gets closer to ending, it gets much quieter too.
Doctors are out of reach whenever they are needed most.
Courtney Love is usually a whore.
Damning evidence is always left around as an afterthought.
Cash is never exchanged in stores.
All rural gas stations are ran by weirdos.
Also, they have the Confederate flag hanging in a prominent area.
Con men always fall for a con.
If there's a heist, there's a montage.
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